Sad and MAd!!!!

i am so sad and mad yesterday when my mum told me that my auntie mengumpat tentang me... i was so mad and sad!!!. k the story is like ths, i have a profile in friendster. I uploaded lots of pics there. all the pic that is bout me, funny pic.. all type of pic including editted pics!!. so, there is 1 photo i editted like a girl, where i use my photo and i editted using photoshop and put red lips and eye shadow, i uploaded ythat pic. including the one before editted!!.

so, mum complained to me that my auntie saw my makeup photo in friendster, so mum was so mad at me and i am so mad too as i have explained the things to my mum. but my mum seriously dont look convincing!!!. but Demi Allah i never uploaded any pis yang kotor any pics yang nampak makeup or whatsoeva!!.. i am so sad that my mum told and asked me of being sissy and gay!!. i am so shocked to hear that, if only people or she knew how i felt!!.. how hard my life is, especially my mental and feeling!! how hard i get rid of stupid feelings!! how hard i try to change myself from very sissy boy to what i am now... and i am not gay, yes i do looks like i layan laki but its all the same, i treat all people the same, i love all!, i treat my male fwen the same. x terlintas pun in my mind that i have to be gay or what!. i like girls but nobody believes that. just because i used to be a sissy boy is not the reason that i am like that forever!!..

i am still so sad and that things really gave great effect to me.. please God help me please. i do wanna change and yes i have changed a lot but people still thinks that i am the bad people!. the gay, the sissy!!!